So… Where Are All the Other Moms? How to Find and Connect with Parents and Build Community in Germany
When I first moved to a small German town at the start of a COVID lockdown—pregnant with twins, no less—I felt deeply alone. Not just because everything was shut down, but because even once restrictions eased, I had no idea where people actually met each other. And during the height of my baby-induced exhaustion, all I wanted was to speak my own language, English, instead of stumbling through German, which felt like it demanded every last brain cell I had left.
If you’re a foreign mom living in Germany—actually, anywhere abroad—and you’ve felt intensely lonely at some point in your motherhood journey, you are far from the only one.
That first wave of loneliness often hits during the newborn phase, when days and nights melt into one long, delirious loop of feeding, crying, and wondering whether you’ll ever sleep again. Even if you genuinely want to meet other people, the thought of getting yourself and the baby out the door can feel like climbing Everest in pajama pants. The energy required for me to get my twins and I dressed and out the door wasn’t worth whatever endorphins I got from talking to other moms back when they were babies.
Another lonely chapter can arrive once your baby grows into a full-on toddler with opinions, a vocabulary, and a head of hair that suddenly needs actual brushing. They start Kita or Kindergarten, and suddenly—whether you’re not working at the moment or have a few hours before your next shift—you find yourself thinking, “Okay… what do I do now?”
Then there’s the phase where you’ve gone back to work. Sure, your days are busy, but in your free time you realize you actually have a little more energy than in the baby-zombie era, when “resting” meant lying on the couch scrolling memes while your child napped on you like a hot water bottle. And now you’d genuinely love to talk to another adult who understands the wild, chaotic, heart-expanding experience you’ve just been through. But you’re a foreigner here. Where do you even start?
No matter when the loneliness hits, wanting connection is completely human. It’s also harder to find your people when you’re living abroad. Research makes this clear too: low social support after childbirth significantly increases the risk of postpartum depression. One study found that moms with low social support had 2.7 times higher odds of experiencing PPD compared to those with strong support networks.
And still—none of this is something you should pressure yourself about. Some seasons of motherhood leave us with barely enough energy to trim a toenail, let alone build a community.
One thing I noticed, despite being an outgoing person, is that the kind of small talk I was used to in the US—chatting with a stranger in the supermarket aisle—just isn’t as common in Germany. Or maybe my German wasn’t good enough at the time for me to attempt it confidently. Either way, I realized that spontaneous mom-friend serendipity was probably not going to happen. Germans might simply prefer meeting new people in more structured settings.
So I started sleuthing around to see where all the moms were hiding. I made myself a list of places to check out, and now I’m passing that list to you—perfect for when you finally emerge, squinting in the sunlight, from the baby/toddler bubble.
Your options may vary depending on where you live in Germany, but here are a few places to start:
1. Eltern-Kind-Kurse / Mutter-Kind-Gruppen
Parent-child classes of all kinds, including:
PEKiP (Prager Eltern-Kind-Programm): Play- and movement-based bonding classes for the first year.
Music or dance classes for parents and young kids.
Rückbildungskurse (postnatal workout classes)—some with babies, some without.
Mutter-Kind workout classes, like Kanga, where you exercise with your baby strapped to you.
2. Krabbelgruppen
Literally “crawling groups”—babies, parents, mats, toys, and a shot at real conversation.
3. Spielgruppen
Playgroups often geared toward slightly older kids, usually held in rooms where children can occupy themselves while adults chat.
4. Vereine
Clubs for every hobby imaginable—sports, choir, crafts, you name it.
5. Gyms & Fitness Studios
Workout classes are a great way to meet locals. Some gyms also offer parent-child options.
6. Kita/Kindergarten
This is prime parent-networking territory—playdates, birthday parties, coffee chats, the whole thing.
7. VHS (Volkshochschule) Courses
Affordable community classes ranging from languages and cooking to arts, crafts, fitness, and IT.
8. Coworking Spaces
If you work remotely, they can be a lifesaver—both for productivity and adult conversation.
9. Playgrounds
Simple but effective. Many friendships start with “Can my kid borrow that shovel?”
10. Kindercafés or Eltern-Kind-Café
Cafes with play areas so parents can chat and while the kids entertain themselves.
11. Familienzentren
Family centers hosting events, meet-ups, activities, and parent groups for various age ranges.
12. Local Online Groups
Peanut app, Facebook groups, Meetup.com, and other online communities can be great starting points.
13. Mental Health Support
If your mental health is suffering, please reach out for help. We list resources for moms in Germany here on the Afloat website.
14. Mütterkur or Mutter-Kind-Kur
A recovery retreat for exhausted mothers—sometimes with kids, sometimes without. Programs can include medical care, therapy, physiotherapy, relaxation, movement therapy, or creative activities depending on your individual needs. Stays are usually prescribed by a doctor and can be covered by health insurance.
15. Jugendamt
The Jugendamt usually has an overview of what’s happening in your area for families—playgroups, parent–child classes, early support programs, family centers (Familienzentren), counseling services, and low-cost activities. If you don’t know where to start socially, they often do.
16. Other forms of support
Networks of mothers who support each other, such as Supermamas
Organizations that offer new parents support, such as Wellcome
Sources of advice and support on parenting such as Erziehungs- und Familienberatung Berlin
Frauenzentren, where women can find help or support in various aspects, not just related to motherhood/parenting
And lastly, one of our Afloat facilitators, Amanda Graybill, hosts a podcast called Expecting Expats, and one of the episodes dives deeper into building community abroad. Feel free to check it out.